Fighting Against Yourself: How Are You Leaning?


I was walking back from a job interview the other day, about 2 miles away from my apartment, when I began to think. (Yeah, i do think from time to time. Shocking, isn't it?) I was thinking about the different struggles that I was having in my life lately, and I was praying at the same time, asking God to show me what may be standing in the way of these struggles working out (at least in my fallible mind). As I continued to think and pray, God kept bringing back to my mind Proverbs 3:5,6:

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

Thats it!! It's ME! I am the one that is making life worse than it needs to be. I'm the one that is not trusting God. I'm the one who is constantly worrying and not keeping my head up. It's me. I will be brutally honest with you. It is not the easiest thing in the world to admit that. The Lord just asked me be patient. Wait. It's like im fighting against myself. The only person who is really standing in the way of God doing His work in my life is me. Every day I try to look at my circumstances and find out who wronged me, and who caused my problems, and im sad to say, a lot of my problems are my own fault.

Am I saying that every problem that I have in my life right now was directly caused by me? No. What I am saying is that I am causing myself to lose out on blessings and relief that God wants to give me by worrying and not trusting HIM with my problems. I know that God says that I need to lean on HIS understanding and not my own, and HE will direct my path. I'm too busy trying to forge my own path through the brush and the thorns, when I could have it so much easier by allowing the Lord to clear the path.

Now that I am meditating on this scripture, and asking God to help me truly live by it, I ask that you would help me by praying for me. I want to rely fully on God, and I know that I can't do that without giving all of my problems and struggles to God. May I encourage you to read that verse several times. Don't just read it, but really think about it, and live it. I am not ashamed to say that I believe that our greatest days are ahead, spiritually speaking, if we are willing to "lean not on our own understanding". How are you leaning; on your own understanding, or on His?